Took C to see his dad today. Due to the pandemic, it had been about two years since they were last together - which I'd forgotten until his height was remarked upon. They video visit every week or two, but obviously that only captures a limited picture of a person. We hadn't been to a regular "visiting hours" session this entire time outside of the annual picnics that started three years in.

Another lady arrived who also had not visited before, she was pretty anxious and mentioned that she wasn't going to get used to this, and that her son better straighten up, several times. The facility itself has a single 2-star review on Google which is generous. Guards were friendly enough but not good communicators, it has always felt a bit like they don't know how to interact with non-inmates and are super awkward. We were forcefully advised to use the restrooms before the visit, which were shocking. And these are the visitor bathrooms. Bathrooms are a big part of any google review of mine.

It was a good visit. It's always awesome to see someone interact with C who loves him as much as me. So I enjoy that, and wonder what he continues to make of this whole circumstance. And what it means for him when his dad is released - how different his life might be with his father around (albeit possibly on the periphery for the next two years dependent upon his PO apparently.) I am hopeful it will just mean more support. More connection. More fulfillment and security. We'll see.

When time came to leave we were behind the other first timer, who I then realized it was her first time visiting her son ever. I remember those tears. Although my tears were all for C and the heart wrenching moments that were watching him say goodbye to his dad at the end of each picnic. It got slightly easier as the years went on, but those first few are brutal. Both myself and his dad are supremely impressed with how C has coped with all of it.

His dad also is very appreciative and expressive of that for my support of their relationship this entire time. He says it's a rare thing for the divorced parent to continue to support their child's relationship with an incarcerated parent. I hadn't considered that, and his thanks are not necessary. I've never underestimated the power of the connection C needs and deserves from his father. I am the one who is thankful that his dad has used his time wisely to become someone worthy of the support I provide for the relationship.